This Land

One more for the road. Watch this:


This Land

Very funny musical political commentary which takes aim at both candidates. Language warnings: uses P-word (meaning "cat" or "wimp") and A-word (meaning "butt" or "donkey").

Favorite line:

You can't say "nuclear." That really scares me.

Presidency 101: Balancing Your Checkbook

Bush said yesterday: "We've turned a corner!" Super! If you turn 3 of those, that's called a "triangle."

But today's lesson is:


How to Balance Your Checkbook, Stupid

1. You have to know how to count. You might want someone to help you with that.
2. You need to have a concept of bigger numbers versus smaller ones. Again, you might need want to ask a grown-up for some help.
3. Real money is different from pretend money. Just like real weapons of mass destruction are different from pretend weapons of mass destruction.
4. You're not allowed to spend money you don't have. It's against the rules.
5. When you spend lots of money you don't have right now, and say that someone else will pay the bill later, that's called "mortgaging our future." That's bad.
6. When you continue to make the problem worse by bringing in less money, that's called "just plain stupid."

Now go home and do your homework. And stop making up answers.

Will it be an evil commission?

This is amusing:

Happy Surfing

Continuing to procrastinate on posts of real substance:


Kleeman and Mike
Note: When you get to the link, I'm referring to the "Kleeman and Mike" cartoon on the right.

I know nothing about the characters or the comic to which this cartoon is attached. But it's just such a fun happy-go-lucky (ash-gala-wonderful, etc.) toon, I can't help but enjoy this. Watch it. The animation and drawing is very simplistic, but also very smooth and uncluttered because of this. My favorite part is the unbridled joy on the guys' faces as they rush on out to the beach. I also like the music. Watch this, you'll probably like it.

Back

Back from vacation, but it's way too late to start blogging about all the stuff which has occurred since I've been away.  Amuse yourselves for a bit.  Some suggestions:
 

• Homestar Runner: amusing site
• Ricky Williams Retires: amusing story
• Mario Kart: amusing game

Now go away.  Thank you come again.

512kb Cache Mix

I'm on vacation. Here's another piece of wacky fun from my experiences:


512kb Cache Mix

So this is yet another flash animation music video. This one is set to this crazy techno music--called "party 4u 'holy nite mix'" by Cranky. The animation is clean and is definitely Japanese (read: anime) in its style. It's surprisingly short, and just a mildly trippy video for some quick amusement.

Bad Intelligence

Starting yesterday and continuing into today...


Report slams CIA for Iraq intelligence failures

So you've probably heard this already... CIA intelligence leading up to the war was bad, faulty, blah blah blah... You might not have heard this part--in remarks yesterday, the president said, rather pitifully:

Listen, we thought there was going to be stockpiles of weapons. I thought so; the Congress thought so; the U.N. thought so. I'll tell you what we do know. Saddam Hussein had the capacity to make weapons. See, he had the ability to make them. He had the intent. We knew he hated America.

You have to actually hear him say it to get the full effect, but it's the kind of excuse you expect to hear from a kid caught beating up another student in the schoolyard: "Yeah, but he hates me. He was gonna hit me first, you know."

For now, I'll leave the lingering questions about whether the administration breathing down the CIA's neck had anything to do with the crappy report they put out. I just want to know how this guy got elected without having any sort of public speaking ability. There has got to be a way to prove you're "constant and resolute" without coming across as "stubborn and bullheaded," not to mention "petty and whiny." I might respect him more if he said, "We were wrong to go to war, but we're already committed to the situation. Here's where we stand..."

Word of the Day: Spoony

Spoony

1 : SILLY, FOOLISH; especially : unduly sentimental
2 : being sentimentally in love

As in: You spoony bard!

Banana phone

Currently stuck in my head:


Banana phone

Exerpted from a Raffi song (which I now have downloaded onto my computer), this is a terribly catchy little tune. The flash animation I've linked to is okay, I guess, but it's the song that sells me. The badgers are kind of cute, I think. Here's the bit they excerpted:

Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
I've got this feeling, so appealing,
for us to get together and sing. Sing!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding donana phone
It grows in bunches, I've got my hunches,
It's the best! Beats the rest!
Cellular, Modular, Interactivodular!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Boop-boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping panana phone
It's no bologna, it ain't a phony! [original lyrics]
My cellular bananular phone!

Ray Bradbury on Capitol Hill

In Washington...


House to vote on Patriot Act provision

I like to call this the Farenheit 451 Clause of the Patriot Act. Under the current law, the government has the right to demand records from book stores and libraries to see what you are reading. You know, so they can ensure that you are only reading "approved" books. I can smell the gasoline on the paperbacks already.

The House planned to vote Thursday on a proposal by Rep. Bernard Sanders, I-Vermont, that would prevent the government from using the Patriot Act to demand records from book stores and libraries.

But meanwhile, back at the ranch...

the White House budget office sent a memo to lawmakers warning that if an amendment "that would weaken the USA Patriot Act were adopted and presented to the president for his signature, the president's senior advisers would recommend a veto."

I never liked the Patriot Act. The idea of your life being investigated and possibly disrupted because someone doesn't like the way you talk is scary to me. I don't want to be labeled a terrorist because I read books like this or this so that I can find out more about what exactly is going on with our government.

* Note: the above quotes are from the news story originally appearing at the above link. The story has since been updated. See below.

UPDATE: Start memorizing your books of the Bible. (Don't know what I'm talking about? Read this book.)

House refuses to curb Patriot Act

The Republican-led House bowed to a White House veto threat Thursday and stood by the USA Patriot Act, defeating an effort to block the part of the anti-terrorism law that helps the government investigate people's reading habits.

The effort to defy Bush and bridle the law's powers lost by 210-210, with a majority needed to prevail. The amendment appeared on its way to victory as the roll call's normal 15-minute time limit expired, but Republican leaders kept the vote open for about 20 more minutes as they persuaded about 10 Republicans who initially supported the provision to change their votes.

Does anyone else think that sounds shady? I do. I think it sounds slim shady.

Excessively Complicated

So I've just had to cancel and attempt to reschedule a major certification exam I'm taking because I'm the kind of dummy who loses his scheduling permit. I understand that it's entirely my fault for not keeping better track of the stupid thing in the first place, but seriously, this was far more complicated than it needed to be. In order to figure out all the information I needed to contact the authorities, gather my application information, and cancel the test, I had to go to no fewer than 6 websites. That, my friend, is ridiculous and excessively complicated. I have to go to three websites each time I want to just check on my application.

While I can appreciate the steps this organization is taking to become more technologically advanced--the exam is completely computer-based as is the registration process--there are ways in which the system really needs a great deal of improvement. For example, after going through all 6 websites to apply originally, I still have to send in paper forms and receive a paper scheduling permit (the one I lost, necessitating a reschedule). These forms could very easily be made electronic so that I don't have to keep track of so much paperwork in addition to going through the trouble of registering online. I know that there is the issue of making sure that I am who I say I am, and that I am actually a student in this school, but security issues like this can also be addressed via computer.

I just hate being part of this transition period, when things aren't completely one way or the other. Really, there's nothing to be done, except to wait for the testing entity to get the technology it needs to go completely electronic. I'm just frustrated, is all.

UPDATE (because I'm sure you all really care): So I have to wait for a new scheduling permit before I can reschedule the exam, and they won't give my my scheduling number over the phone. I've resigned myself to that. But on the phone, they say I have to call this number to tell them to "reset" my information so I can reschedule later. I call the number and spend a good 15 minutes navigating the automated system to find out how to "reset" this stupid information, and I get to the end of the line, and there's no such thing. Ludicrous, I tell you.

PSA: West Nile Virus

Public service announcement of the day...


Map of the Spread of West Nile Virus

What's West Nile Virus (WNV)?
WNV is a kind of virus that is carried by mosquitoes, which can infect humans, horses, and other mammals, in addition to birds. It is believed to have originated in the area of Western Asia, the Middle East, and Africa (hence the name).

What happens when you get WNV?
Most people don't actually develop any sort of illness from being infected with WNV.

Of those who do get sick, most will have what is called West Nile Fever (20% of all those infected). Symptoms include fever, headache, fatigue, and body aches. Sometimes there is also a skin rash over the trunk of the body along with swelling of lymph glands. In other words, it's not much worse than a case of the flu.

However, the most severe symptoms which can develop involve the nervous system. Occurring in about 1/150 people infected with WNV, these are called of West Nile Encephalitis (infection of the brain) or West Nile Meningitis (infection of the cells which form a sac around the brain and spinal cord). The symptoms of severe infection include headache, high fever, neck stiffness, tremors, convulsions, muscle weakness, and paralysis. It is also possible to develop disorientation which can progress to stupor (an state of near unresponsiveness) and even to coma.

So what do I do to avoid getting infected?
There is currently no vaccine against WNV. The best way to prevent infection is to avoid being bitten by mosquitoes.

Limit your contact with mosquitoes. Avoid being outdoors during dawn, dusk, and early evening (peak "biting times"). Wear long-sleeved shirts and long pants as well as insect repellent which contains DEET (N,N-diethyl-m-toluamide). Note that more DEET means longer lasting protection, not better protection, and this is only true up to 50% (more than 50% DEET doesn't last any longer than 50%). Check your windows and screens to make sure mosquitoes can't get into your home.

Also, it is a good idea to reduce the places around your home where mosquitoes breed. This is pretty much any place with standing water. Empty out any flowerpots, watering cans, buckets, or similar containers at least once a week. Clean out your rain gutters and remove piles of yard waste which can accumulate moisture.

What do I do if I think I'm infected with WNV?
Go see your doctor. If she thinks you might be infected (based on your history, physical exam, and whether there is WNV in your area), there is a blood test which checks for antibodies in your blood (IgM) which are specific for WNV. However, because this test is not always definitive, a second test called the Plaque Reduction Neutralization Test (PRNT) is used to confirm the diagnosis. This test requires culture and growth of the virus, so it may take more than a week to conduct.

There is unfortunately no specific treatment for WNV yet. Current management consists of symptom management and possibly hospitalization until your body can rid itself of the virus.

Yaah! I'm so worried that I might get infected and die!
Remember that first, most people who get WNV don't get sick from it, and that the majority of those who do get sick only get the fever, not the nervous system infection. There are also lot of other diseases which mosquitoes can carry, some of which look a lot like WNV infection in addition to very common things, like a bad cold, which can have some of the symptoms listed above.

Regardless, it is most important to protect yourself from mosquitoes, and go see a doctor if you feel very sick. Even if it's not WNV, it may be something else which requires medical attention.

For more information, refer to the CDC's page on West Nile Virus.

"We're not George Bush"

Today's top story...


Kerry names Edwards his running mate

I'm really not terribly surprised by this choice. Honestly, John Edwards has been considered the front runner by most sources I use to follow the election. On the other hand, listening to NPR today has taught me a few things:

1. This wasn't necessarily the most obvious choice as far as John Kerry is concerned. Many consider Edwards to be much more charismatic than Kerry. Kerry himself might have preferred Dick Gephardt. The New York Post thought he did...
   


2. This choice, although it was thought to be a very predictable one, made a statement that John Kerry is (a) not afraid to share the spotlight with Edwards and (b) confident about his own ability to deal with foreign policy, terrorism, and homeland security -- as Edwards has a very domestic message with not much experience in international politics.


3. The Republicans are very much afraid of this ticket -- evidenced by the swiftness of their characterization of Edwards as a "disingenuous, unaccomplished liberal."


4. John Edwards was a trial lawyer. As someone with a stake in the medical field, I ought to question his role in what I feel to be an overly litigious society. In the past, however, he seems to have dealt well with this sort of criticism, pointing out examples of the cases he took on. I myself have not examined these in detail, but I have at least been informed that he has taken on the role of an advocate for someone who has truly been wronged against some corporate wrongdoer, rather than someone who greedily tries to bring about outrageous settlements.

What struck me was the following statement, made by Mary Matalin, a campaign adviser for President Bush:

He's sort of a Chinese dinner. It's spectacular while you're there and it's enjoyable. And you walk away, and it's, "What did he say?" He really did not offer any policy prescriptives relative to those issues we face, as Kerry didn't either. The only thing they offered, and one says it with a smile and the other says it with a scowl, is, "We're not George Bush." In the end, that is just not enough.

I disagree first of all that saying "we're not George Bush" might not be enough to win this campaign. It certainly is for me, and for many of those whose opinions I respect. I truly believe that this country is much worse off than it was four years ago, and I think at least part of the blame falls on President Bush. I again point to what I see as a mishandling of the whole "War on Terrorism." I find it ironic that a pillar of the current Republican campaign is that Kerry (now Kerry/Edwards) is not equipped to handle the "War on Terrorism," when it's obvious (to me, at least), that neither is Bush/Cheney. Granted, we have yet to see Kerry and Edwards in action in this arena, so we don't really know whether they are up to the task. But on the other hand, we have seen Bush and Cheney in action here, proving that they are not up to the task. I know that many Americans will go into this election saying, "I won't vote for George Bush," and the fact that Kerry/Edwards can say "we're not George Bush" means that they will win those votes.

The other point of interest I noted was the use of the phrase "He's sort of a Chinese dinner." What exactly does that mean?

• Is she referring to the fact that most Americans can't cook Chinese food, so they don't really know what they are eating when they head out to a Chinese restaurant? Certainly there is good substance behind the meal, and you enjoy it, regardless of whether or not you have the culinary expertise to know how it is made. Your ignorance of the work it took to prepare the food doesn't make it any less of an actual meal.


• Is she saying that Chinese food isn't real food? That is certainly news to all those Chinese people in the world who are eating it.


• Is she perhaps referring to the fact that some Chinese-American immigrants don't speak English very well, so that after you've dined at a Chinese restaurant, you can't really make out what your hostess said to you? Is she comparing a thick Chinese accent to Edwards' thick southern accent, such that his audience doesn't know what he's saying half the time?

Is this some commonly used phrase that I don't know about, or is she trying to be more clever than she is? I mean, I'm trying not to take this as a racial slur, because I know that I'm overly sensitive to that stuff, but I don't see what her point was in saying something like that.

At any rate, that's the big news of the day. If anything it pinged my interest in this election and helped form some opinions for me. I probably won't vote for George Bush this year.

Work it

Quick break from frying my brain (studying) to tell you about this:


Work it

This is a flash animation by EvilZug based on the song "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" by Daft Punk. I find the animation as mesmerizing as a good screensaver (ahh... screensavers), and the song is most righteous. Only fault for this little animation is that they seem to have the lyrics a bit confused... you'll see what I mean if you're a stickler for proper spelling (like I am).

Work it harder
Make it better
Do it faster
Makes us stronger
More than ever
Hour after hour
Work is never over

53.5 Hot Dogs

And this one is kind of gross...


'Tsunami' scoffs hot dog title

In his fourth victory in a row, a Japanese man retained his hot-dog-eating title Sunday by eating 53.5 of the wieners in 12 minutes.

First of all, I know several people to whom the idea of eating even one hot dog is abhorrent. The idea of cramming more than 50 of these down your throat in 12 minutes has got to be exponentially more so. I personally have no problems with hot dogs... eaten in moderation. Heck, I even had one yesterday at the 4th of July picnic. But 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes... well, it makes me queasy.

I have no idea what is so popular about these eating competitions. I'd imagine it has to do with the sort of appalled fascination we all have watching something that is horribly wrong, like watching a train wreck or Guys Gone Wild. I won't deny that I find myself as transfixed as the next person if you make me watch the latest pseudodrama on The Real World. But afterwards, I feel I've gained nothing from the experience. Indeed, I usually feel dumber.

As you can see from some of the links I post, I am more than happy to participate in mindless entertainment. I just fail to see how making myself nauseous is at all entertaining. It's a fine line between the fun sensation of getting a little dizzy spinning around on the tilt-a-whirl and the sense of impending doom when you must get off the tilt-a-whirl before you throw up. Yuck.

Farm chicks with no clothes on!

Yes, it's a lame joke. Deal with it. But seriously(?), there's this wacky news item I found...

Farmers bare all for 'rain god'

Female rice farmers are plowing their fields at night in the nude to please the rain God during a dry spell in southwestern Nepal, a news report says.

I can just see the greaseball governor of the province coming up with this idea... "Dude! We should tell all these farm chicks to get naked so that the rain will fall. They'll totally buy it if we tell them it will please the rain god."

Yeah, so I shouldn't be making fun of a religious belief so deeply held that these women would subject themselves to this, but doesn't this strike you as being just a bit shady? It's not like this 'rain god' wants everyone to be naked... just the farm girls. Incidentally...

Weather forecasters in the capital Kathmandu -- 500 kilometers (310 miles) northeast of Baijapur village where the naked farmers are appealing for rain -- said the situation is expected to improve in the next few days.

Fourth of July

Today we celebrate our freedom... with mass quantities of pyrotechnics.

Oh beautiful for spacious skies
For amber waves of grain
For purple mountain's majesty
Above the fruited plain
America, America
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea

Seriously, everyone. Have a safe and wonderful holiday, and do take a minute, whatever your political views, to remember those who worked and fought for the freedom that makes this country so great. God bless America.

Fourth of July Fourth of July Celebrations Declaration of Independence Fourth of July Games

Fireworks Virtual Fireworks Cyberfireworks at the White House How Fireworks Work

Science Quotes from Kids

Happened across this fun little site today:

Science Quotes from Kids

Lots of fun amusing stuff. My personal favorite is:

When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

It now resides happily in my away message. There's also:

You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

...and the astonishingly profound:

When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.

Check it out. Kids are often more amusing than grown-ups.

Gold Miner

Cool game du jour: Gold Miner

How I happened upon this game: Caitlin lured me in with the cryptic away message, "I got to level five..."

The gist: You're a gold miner. You mine gold... and rocks, diamonds, gophers, and other assorted stuff in the ground. You have this grabbing claw (like the one in those stupid prize machines at the video arcade) that follows a simple harmonic pattern (i.e. it swings back and forth). You release the claw by pushing a button. It's just that simple! Oh, and you can blow stuff up if you have dynamite. That's cool too. You can buy power-ups from the store between levels.

Addictiveness level: 9/10 (Snood-like addiction)

Mikey's tips: Best power-ups are the dynamite and the "strength" potion. Get the diamond polishing kit if you feel like you're going to get a bunch of diamonds soon (not having seen any in a while is a good indicator). Don't blow stuff up if it's next to something valuable... you'll blow up the gold/diamonds too.

Style points: No extra money for this, but you get Mikey points for being cool if you manage to thread the needle (e.g. grab something cool which is situated between two rocks). Cool points also for grabbing the gophers with diamonds. They're such cute little buggers.


Cool points for threading the needle. Mikey is cool.

Saturn

In other awesome news...



Cassini Reaches Saturn

Outer space is just too cool. Check out these links for more info and wicked pictures:

NPR: Cassini Captures Views of Saturn's Rings
CNN: Cassini gets ringside view of Saturn's mysteries
Time: Lord of the Rings ; Seeing Saturn

Word of the Day: Gregarious

Gregarious

1 a : tending to associate with others of one's kind : SOCIAL
   b : marked by or indicating a liking for companionship : SOCIABLE
   c : of or relating to a social group
2 a of a plant : growing in a cluster or a colony
   b : living in contiguous nests but not forming a true colony -- used especially of wasps and bees

Guys Gone Wild

Believe it or not...


Guys Gone Wild

Right, so I know I'm biased... being a guy and all but I just don't think this will sell so well. I think I saw a Seinfeld episode once when it was pointed out that the male form is not all that much to look at. So I just can't imagine why anyone would pay money to look at dudes getting naked.

"Based on the reactions I've gotten, college-age girls, maybe older," Horn said. "I think it's going to be a big gag gift, bachelorette kind of gift."

(A recent screening for a group of friends -- male and female -- elicited squeals of appalled laughter, followed by embarrassed fascination, followed quickly by boredom and shutting off the VCR.)

But Horn also expects the videos will to appeal to gay men. "There's a certain amount of gay women who purchase 'Girls Gone Wild,' " he said.

Dude, whatever. I just can't get over the feeling that this is completely absurd... not that "Girls Gone Wild" was ever anything but absurd, really. It's so difficult to find quality entertainment these days. Unless you watch this movie, that is.

"This is all theater"

Today's top story:


Saddam Hussein is brought to court

I'll not waste time rehashing the details of what all went on today. Read the news article if you're interested.

"This is all a theater" designed by President Bush, whom he called a criminal, to win re-election, said Saddam, looking around the court with a half-smile during one outburst.

As much as I hold steady to my doubts about President Bush and his motives in the whole Iraq situation, I don't see this as purely media circus. Regardless of whether or not we had the right to declare war on Iraq (questionable issues of Weapons of Mass Destruction and Al Quaeda links), there are still very real crimes, which must be addressed. In that regard, however...

Iraq's interim president, Sheikh Ghazi al-Yawar, told CNN earlier in the day that the trial will be fair.

"All Iraqis can listen and hear and understand that he will be tried according to the law," al-Yawar said. "There will be no political aspect to his trial."

He said the trial "means that a very dark era has been gone forever."

I don't see how there can be "no political aspect" of this trial. Hussein has been the head of Iraq since the 1970s. There is no Iraqi who has not been profoundly affected by Saddam Hussein's rule.

Tim Hughes, a member of Saddam's legal team, told CNN in an interview from Jordan that he objected to the proceeding because Saddam was denied legal advice beforehand.

Hughes said the defense will be pursuing a change of venue because "any trial in Baghdad will not be fair."

Yes, the man was a despot, and many people have been killed at his command. He should be brought to justice as any criminal should. But I insist that this be done right. Personally, if the evidence is there, it doesn't matter where the trial is. We cannot let this man go down as some sort of martyr for the Iraqi people. We have bombed and ruined Iraq for the past decade, and right now, I think that the United States is still seen as the bad guy for many Iraqis. If we are in the right, then let the courts bear it out. Giving Saddam his change of venue or whatever else he requests (within reason, of course) shouldn't change the outcome.